How Your Wedding Day Mirrors Your Marriage

May 9, 2017

In my wedding class, How to be a Great Wedding Officiate, the first question I ask is “what is a wedding.” Surprisingly enough, my students who are there to learn how to officiate have to think about it. “Well, it is a celebration.” “A coming together of friends and family.” “An expense,…sometimes an expensive expense.” “A happy occasion.” “A stressful occasion.” “A fun occasion.”


All of the above describe a wedding. According to Webster's Dictionary, a wedding is a noun, although I think of it more as a moving verb.

The actual definition of a wedding is “a ceremony in which two people are married to each other.” Kinda boring. Actually, really boring.


My personal definition of a wedding is “an event celebrating the love between two people. A wedding is a public and personal acclimation of a deep heart and soul connection, and a commitment to the world that shouts…'we are so in love we are going to co-create a life together!' "


It is a ceremony that typically lasts 24 hours, from the arrival of the wedding party at the rehearsal to when the last guests leave.


What I have come to believe is that how a couple does their wedding is how they will do their marriage. If it is organized, fun and easy, for the most part, the couples marriage will be strong and long-lasting. And yes, I know we all have rough and tough days. If the wedding is chaotic, stressful and edgy, most couples will take that energy into their everyday life.



To keep things in perspective, write down your partners answers to the following statements:


  1. How do we define a wedding?

  2. What approach do we want that best reflects our personalized energy as a couple.

  3. What we don’t want to have happen is…





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