In my wedding class, How to be a Great Wedding Officiate, the first question I ask is “what is a wedding.” Surprisingly enough, my students who are there to learn how to officiate have to think about it. “Well, it is a celebration.” “A coming together of friends and family.” “An expense,…sometimes an expensive expense.” “A happy occasion.” “A stressful occasion.” “A fun occasion.”
All of the above describe a wedding. According to Webster's Dictionary, a wedding is a noun, although I think of it more as a moving verb.
The actual definition of a wedding is “a ceremony in which two people are married to each other.” Kinda boring. Actually, really boring.
My personal definition of a wedding is “an event celebrating the love between two people. A wedding is a public and personal acclimation of a deep heart and soul connection, and a commitment to the world that shouts…'we are so in love we are going to co-create a life together!' "
It is a ceremony that typically lasts 24 hours, from the arrival of the wedding party at the rehearsal to when the last guests leave.
What I have come to believe is that how a couple does their wedding is how they will do their marriage. If it is organized, fun and easy, for the most part, the couples marriage will be strong and long-lasting. And yes, I know we all have rough and tough days. If the wedding is chaotic, stressful and edgy, most couples will take that energy into their everyday life.
WEDDING WISDOM EXERCISE:
To keep things in perspective, write down your partners answers to the following statements:
How do we define a wedding?
What approach do we want that best reflects our personalized energy as a couple.
What we don’t want to have happen is…